The Death of My Soul



My beloved Rose,

I once wrote to you: If you want me to prove that I love you, give two glasses of poisson each to me and your boyfriend. Two months later, she acted accordingly.

My angel prepared a glass of Coffee filled with poisson for my soul on 9th Jul 2013 at Frankfurt.  Before she gave me the coffee, she told me that that "I do not love you and I have no feelings for you" and she gave me the coffee to drink. It was filled with Poison. She told me that it is our last drink.

I drank it, and my soul started dying slowly. I last saw my angel on 12th July, and I left without looking back, because my soul was so feeble to withstand her eyes. My soul was preparing to die. I hold on till the presentation to make sure that I do not disappoint my angel and I got full marks. She always wanted me to do well on studies and I hope this will make her happy. I allowed to let my soul die for her happiness, and did the presentation with the passion for my angel. My angel did not turn up for my presentation. I saw her presentation, and she was looking bold and beautiful.

Today there is a dinner to celebrate the Masters and that is where I should be. But I can not allow my soul to die at the laughter of others. Let it die peacefully at this beautiful apartment 2211 of  this beautiful Hotel. That is the best service I can do for my soul. It is the funeral day of my soul. Every thing I enjoyed from the day I met my angel, is going to bring tears on my thoughts from now on. The clouds, the flowers, the garden of love, the charity in Africa, my love letters, and ...

I still do not understand why she gave me the last coffee.. I still don't understand why my faith in her that she will not leave me alone and empty handed, did not materialise. Where is the beautiful mind I saw in her, has gone..? Till she spoke the last words and walked away, I thought she will tell that we can meet later and don't worry.. But she did not..

Before I left, I gave my heart to her. I know it is safe with her. No other woman knew me that well, and she could understand me. Till she call me back, there is no light and no joy in my life. These are the days of sorrows.

"What is light, if Sylvia be not seen; What is joy, if Sylvia be not by?" 

I still do not understand why she betrayed me on our agreement in Feb 2013. I never knew that angels can betray. Where is all the poetry and wisdom I believed in? Why  my divine love could not find a meaning..? Why was I betrayed?

I helped a lot of people, led a life full of hope and fullfilled my duty.. Oh my angel, oh my angel, why did you let me to die like this?

Oh.. Frankfurt.. Oh..Frankfurt.. Why do you want to be the Calvary of my soul?

My angel, my angel, why have you forsaken me? My angel's boyfriend, here is your girl; please keep her happy always. My angel, that is your man, serve him well.

 

My angel of Deutschland, into your hands I commit my spirit.

 

 

Eternally yours
SJP

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