Nandini - my first love



Meine geliebte Anna,
 
Today, let me start writing about my first love !. (Remember, I had told you about her once?)
 
When I was around 8 or 9 years old, we had a cow; its name was Nandini. If you google for Nandini, you will know that it was the name of a sacred cow of Hindus!  It was white in color. When my father  brought it home it was already pregnant. It was small in size compared to cows in general and had a very large tummy always, even after delivery. So it was always looking pregnant to me, like many men and women todaysmiley  Nandini was a very calm and obedient cow.
 
Nandini
I could take her out myself, to feed her. After I come back from school, after a 5 kilometer walk, I used to take her to the top of the hill. The top of the hill was flat, and full of grass. I will sit in the grass (poor cows, they can't sit!), and she will start eating.As Nandini eats, I enjoyed watching her eating. She will circle her tail to scare away the bees; sometimes she will come so close to me and eat the grass right next to my feet. I will be afraid that she is going to eat my feet now. I never moved my feet, even when my heart was beating like a drum. My mind will tell me to move my feet and my heart will tell me to keep it. Somehow, I always thought she can not eat my feet, because she is so innocent. And when her head reaches to my arms length, I will start scratching her head and body. Do you know one thing? When she really enjoys my scratch in her skin, she will stop eating for a while. Some times she will enjoy it for a couple of minutes. I used to look at her deep blue eyes. They were so innocent that even today (after three decades) I can see them. Sometimes I kissed her. Sometimes, when she is busy in eating the grass, I lean and lay on its body and look at the beautiful mountains of my 'Swiss village'.
 
You can see my beloved mountains in the attached picture. The green hill in the middle of the water is where I used to feed Nandini; let me call it the Nandini Hill. (There were a lot changes in my village in the last three decades. A new water dam had been built and we all had to leave our village, because we were under the water catchment area of the dam.)
 
 
Sitting on top of the hill and watching those mountains was a beautiful experience. Few years later when I started reading classics, those mountains gave a new meaning. I started dreaming, I dreamt of going to those deep forests, and conquer those mountains. I started to wonder, if the view from the top of this small hill is so beautiful, what will be the view from the top of that big mountain! Then I will tell Nandini, "When you reduce your tummy and be fit, we will go to the top of that mountain; you can continue eating and I can enjoy the views around". I used to talk a lot to Nandini, she was my best friend. I did conquer those mountains many years later and so many times, but without my best friend, Nandini.
 
One day she became a mother. It was in the night, and I was deep in sleep. When I woke up, there is a little one!. My mom told me not to go near the little one, because Nandini will be angry. I had my faith in Nandini, I touched the baby and tried to carry her, but Nandini did not do anything to me. Its deep blue eyes had the same faith in me, was there a little pride in them (for becoming a mother)? I kissed her and the little one. Thus, three days later (I remember, for the first few days after the delivery of the cow, we were not drinking its milk) I started drinking milk every day. After my mom's milk, this was the second milk from home. 
 
Thus I started taking Nandini and her little one to the top of the hill. Nandini will eat as usual and the baby will play. It was wonderful to watch it playing. It will run, jump and fall. Sometimes it falls and could not get up for long, and I will go and sit next to it and support it to getup. Sometimes it run and go out of sight and then Nandini will start crying. Then suddenly it will appear from nowhere. Its run and dance during those sunsets are still in my mind. I used to 'scan' ( scratch) Nandini and its baby. As the sun sinks into the mountain, I get up and take them back home. My beloved Anna, those evenings were the most beautiful evenings of my life; serene nature, the innocence of a cow and its baby. Can I tell you one secret? Sometimes, in those evenings, I used to milk Nandini, by pressing its nipple, thus spraying milk straight into my mouth.
 
Nandini, delivered a lot of times. At one time, Nandini was a grandmother. We were still in love!. One day when I came back home from School, Nandini was not there. My mom was in tears when she saw me. She was sold to a butcher, because she will not deliver anymore!!! As I write these words, my both eyes are filled with tears, even after three decades later. That is all I could do, ever since.
 
This letter for you about Nandini, is my tribute to her. I know my Anna belives in God; please pray to God for Nandini. If God allows us to be together in heaven, we will make a farmhouse, and will take Nandini as our cow. I am sure, if I talk to Jesus or Lord Krishna, they will give me Nandini, because no one can love her as much as I love her. 
 
Eternally yours
- - - - -

(24 Nov 2013)

Eternally yours
SJP

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